This week was hard. It’s never just one thing. It’s a million little things that add up. Husband working late, kids fighting, messy house, over scheduled week, grumpy, tired….and on and on.
But it was also filled with little glimpses, little bits of something. I just can’t put my finger on it. Volunteering at Clean of Heart. My littlest one telling me over and over how much he’d miss me when I was gone. Gifts from friends who knew I couldn’t return the favor. Finally mastering the art of French braiding (ok, mastering might be reaching a little). A friend’s tree that literally took my breath away.
It’s certainly starting to feel like a fast, but that’s what I signed up for, right? If a fast doesn’t include any sacrifices, then it’s not a fast. The discomfort is where the magic happens.
Why would I want to sacrifice? Why would I want to feel discomfort? I have no idea! Seriously, somebody stop this train. I want off.
I want to feel all the good feelings and none of the bad. I want everything I want no matter what, and I want it NOW.
Sounds a little childish, and a lot selfish. And I am. So often I choose to think about myself and how a situation affects me even as I tell my children the opposite.
So often I feel like I deserve something when I most certainly deserve no-thing. I try and try to fill my God-hole. But it will never work.
So I will forge on, and continue. Watching and waiting. My prayer is that I can get out of the way, so God can work. So He can make me whole.
Bread and Shoes 
This takes my breath away! All of it, but especially, “the discomfort is where the magic happens.”
Thanks Beth!! And thanks for being one of those friends who gave gifts! It was perfect timing!