Less

So I’ve been thinking a lot about what I should learn from this experience. What is the lesson here? Why did I feel called to do this type of fast for Lent? I think it may have something to do with balance. The fasting and the feast. It’s been the running theme in my head these last few weeks. The selfish me on the inside will never really appreciate the feast, without the fast. Spending less money, helps me to better appreciate the things I have now.   But ultimately, spending less  means consuming less. Doing without. Being happy with what I have. Not going into Target for shampoo and coming out $200 poorer. Choosing to live with less.

What if we all chose to live on 75% of our income, and systematically gave away the rest? What good could I do for someone else with 25% of my income?

In the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess (the book that inspired this Lent fast) Jen Hatmaker says this:

Nonconsumption. This is the simplest and hardest. It takes true courage to rage against this machine. Could we be countercultural enough to say, “We’re not buying that. We don’t need that. We’ll make due with what we have. We’ll use the stuff we already own. ” If this causes anxiety, I’m with you, trust me. Because who does that? Who curbs their appetites anymore? Who uses old stuff when they could buy new stuff? Who sews patches on jeans or uses last years backpacks? Who says ‘no’ when they can afford to say ‘yes’?

Yes, who? Not me. I buy things and buy them and buy them until I am engorged with stuff…..all while someone else goes without. What if, what if we are supposed to live like the members of the first church. Pool our resources, so that nobody has too much and nobody goes without?  What if we chose to look at our income not as something earned, but as a gift? A gift that we can freely give to others?

Back to balance. I don’t think Jesus wants us to live in poverty. I don’t think we have to fast all the time. But I do believe that when our love of money is stronger than our love for our neighbor, we have a problem. When we throw away food, while our neighbor is hungry, there is no balance. When I buy more things while you have nothing…..I am a camel, on this side of the needle, trying to squeeze through unnoticed.

I leave you with this clip of Jen Hatmaker speaking about when she did this month of 7. The first half of the clip is an advertisement for a non-profit, but the second half is Jen with some wisdom on spending. She offers a little different perspective on the verse in Matthew, where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I concur.

 

Other Money Suckers

We’ve established that most of our extra money is spent on restaurants. Now that March is over, I was excited to check out our bank statements. We’ve been able to slash our 12 month average in half! Our new 12 month average for restaurants is $488. This is still a significant amount of money to spend on eating out, but I am excited that we were able to make such a difference in our budget in just one month.

But I knew that couldn’t be the only area we waste money. So back to the bank statements I go…

The YMCA (((Sigh))) This one is super bad. We have a family membership at the Y for $75/ month. Great deal….if you go. I can’t remember the last time I went (I’m sure I could call the Y and ask, since they keep record, but that would just be adding salt to the wound). My husband has visited more than me, but still not in months. The sad thing is, the Y doesn’t make you sign contracts, we could cancel anytime. At least we are making a donation to a wonderful cause! ($75 a month for the past six months = $650!)

 

Library fines (love of my life, if you are reading this, now might be a good time to skip to the next paragraph) (((another sigh))) In my defense, I’ve heard that many homeschoolers suffer this ailment. You see, when we go to the library we check out LOTS of books. Seriously, it takes three book bags to carry them all.  We use them for school, for pleasure reading, and as a supplement to what we are currently learning. Generally we keep them for the full-time, and then forget to renew or take them back. Sometimes I’ll have really good intentions and just simply forget to put them in the car before we head out for the day. Other times, we misplace a book and they tack on more fines. This one is especially painful because our fines add up, then we have to abstain from the library for a while until I can pay them. (currently $75..gulp….ouch)

Amazon Prime (or insert your sneaky auto renew service here) I just can’t decide if this is beneficial or not. We don’t order a whole lot from Amazon, but we do use the free movies. When Christmas rolls around again, I’ll have to weigh the cost of this service vs. all the shipping charges we would have paid. ($75/year, however I think this just increased to $95)

So there, more things that suck the money right out of our account! What are some things that cause you to waste money?

Progress report: Week 3

This week was hard. It’s never just one thing. It’s a million little things that add up. Husband working late, kids fighting, messy house, over scheduled week, grumpy, tired….and on and on.

But it was also filled with little glimpses, little bits of something. I just can’t put my finger on it. Volunteering at Clean of Heart. My littlest one telling me over and over how much he’d miss me when I was gone. Gifts from friends who knew I couldn’t return the favor. Finally mastering the art of French braiding (ok, mastering might be reaching a little).  A friend’s tree that literally took my breath away.

It’s certainly starting to feel like a fast, but that’s what I signed up for, right? If a fast doesn’t include any sacrifices, then it’s not a fast. The discomfort is where the magic happens.

Why would I want to sacrifice? Why would I want to feel discomfort? I have no idea! Seriously, somebody stop this train. I want off.

I want to feel all the good feelings and none of the bad. I want everything I want no matter what, and I want it NOW.

Sounds a little childish, and a lot selfish. And I am. So often I choose to think about myself and how a situation affects me even as I tell my children the opposite.

So often I feel like I deserve something when I most certainly deserve no-thing. I try and try to fill my God-hole. But it will never work.

So I will forge on, and continue. Watching and waiting. My prayer is that I can get out of the way, so God can work. So He can make me whole.

 

 

The Queso Situation

I am  frustrated. I’m sick of  preparing/cooking  every.  single.  meal.

I’m crazy loyal to Publix (seriously, their customer service is right up there with Chick-Fil-A) but if I don’t see the inside of Publix for at least a week, I’ll be a happy girl.

Forget all that stuff I wrote about this being “not to hard”.

I seriously almost threw in the towel tonight, over queso. You know that cheesy, yummy goodness at Mexican restaurants that fill you up before your food arrives? Lets just take a moment to think about queso……

Anyway, in my frustration about having to cook, and my yearning for cheesy goodness, I decide that I couldn’t stand it any longer and hopped into the car to head to Publix (for the second time today) to figure out this thing called queso. I found a recipe online that looked pretty easy. How hard could it be, right?

I found the small can of green chilies and the queso cheese. I grabbed some frozen pizza and burritos to round out our healthy meal. (Don’t judge, I was in the depths of frustration here!)

As I headed home, I began to get excited about making my own cheese dip. I felt empowered! No silly Lenten fast would break me! I can cook anything!

As soon as I walked in the door, I got my husband working on the cheese. I turned on the stove and dumped in the can of chilies. The original recipe said to bake it in the oven, but I didn’t have time for that. The queso was almost within my grasp. I added in the grated cheese. At first, things were going smoothly. The cheese began to melt nicely. But then, no matter how much I whisked, it wouldn’t melt properly. Half the pot was a thin liquid, and the other half was rubber. I was starting to panic.

I decided that perhaps I should have considered the original recipe a little longer. I poured the thin cheese into a bowl for the kids (who were literally hovering over the pot of cheese. We are a cheese loving family, I tell ya.) I put the rest of the rubber  cheese into an oven safe dish, and put it under the broiler (as the original recipe said). I  kept thinking, “It just hasn’t melted enough” and  “A little more heat should do it”

Wrong.

So, so, so wrong.

The extra heat and time turned it into a gelatinous blob. It wasn’t even dip-able.  The frustration of the evening turned into sorrow, as I  realized that the thin (but edible) cheese I had poured out for the kids…..was gone. Not a drop left. At this point, I had spent so much time on this stupid cheese that ALL the other dinner options were gone (the aforementioned pizzas and burritos).

So I had wine for dinner.

Then I sat down to write this post (a little outlet for my sorrows), and my phone goes off. It was my sister responding to a text I sent her earlier. I vented about cooking and being frustrated. Here’s what she said:

Need a little perspective, Crystal? There ya go. You see, she and I volunteered last week at a ministry called Clean of Heart. (You can read about it here) We washed clothes for the homeless, and then she saw some of the same faces as she was out to dinner.

A reminder. How easily I forget. I have bread on my table and shoes on my feet. And I’m letting a little thing like ruined cheese dip screw up my night?

Ok Jesus, I hear you.  “Be thankful. Don’t get caught up in these little discomforts. Don’t let all these little things steal your joy. Focus on Me. Lean on Me.”

There is a hole inside each of us, we try to fill it and fill it with things. Shoes, money, food, stuff…..cheese dip.

But it’s a God-hole, only He can fill it.

He’s it.

The One and only.

When I try to fill my God-hole, He uses silly things like cheese dip to bring me back to Him.

I love that.

Waaaaaaa!!!

This post is going to be a wee bit superficial and indulgent. I’m sorry in advance. But this blog was started as a way for me to journal this Lenten fast. And I’m human, and I’m a girl so just fasten your seat belts and hold on.

I’m out of foundation.

Not just any foundation. My favorite foundation. Clinique’s Moisture Surge Tinted Moisturizer SPF 15. It’s perfect. Doesn’t make my skin crazy oily. Provides the perfect amount of coverage for me (which is just enough to hide imperfections, but not so much that you can’t see my skin underneath). It has SPF (you wear an SPF everyday, right? RIGHT!)

(((sigh))) It has everything this girl wants, no needs, in a foundation.

So I’m going to have to find a (temporary) replacement at either Target, Publix or Walgreens.

Over-the-counter cosmetics? THE HORROR! (Just kidding) (not really)

Any suggestions? )

Progress report: Week 2

Settling in. That’s what I feel like I’m doing. The ‘fad’ has worn off and now the ‘realness’ sets in. I’m getting comfortable with the fact that I have to be prepared when we leave the house, which usually involves food. (Why do kids always want to eat?)

It’s super easy to go through my mail/email. I don’t have to worry that there might be a sale that I’ll miss. I am now a pro at trashing the mail and hitting the delete button.

We’ve had two expenditures this week that didn’t fall within our 7 places. (Did I mention my husband is doing this with me?)

1. Winterjam. The two oldest kids were invited to go with a neighbor. We decided to let them go. (I mean, it’s a Christian concert. There are so many things I regret spending money on, but giving my children an experience Vs. a ‘thing’, always wins.)

2. Can you say roof leak? Lowes isn’t on our list. No brainier. Gotta fix the leak.

There are things I want to buy (more on that in a future post) and things I’m missing. But overall it hasn’t been to difficult.

The bank account is certainly breathing a sigh of relief. 🙂

One Quick Take

Things I’m craving…

Queso and chips from Moes

Curry egg rolls from British Bulldog

Grande Breve latte from Starbucks

Mayan Mocha from Loveland (yes TWO coffees)

Join my pity party?

Progress Report: Week 1

It’s been one week. 1/6 of the way through Lent. So far, things are ok. We’ve had to plan better. There MUST be groceries in the house at all times. I had a mini-meltdown on Friday. Pretty typical end-of-the-week I don’t want to cook stuff. But we managed.

Yesterday we went to the zoo and of course, packed a lunch, plus snacks, plus extra drinks. No buying french fries or ice cream. No soda; we took our water bottles and refilled them at the water fountain. We made it through pretty painlessly.

I do have to add in here that my children conned our neighbor (who met us there) into Icee’s. Sweet friends.

The kids on the other hand? The kids are not happy. They want to go out. They are tired of sandwiches for lunch. They want trips to the Ice cream shop, yogurt shop, doughnut shop. (notice a trend here?) They want, want, want…

As hard as it is to tell them no, as much as I want to give them these little treats, I feel like this is a lesson for them as well.

A child-sized fast, if you will.

The gift of NO.

I hope their “wants” quiet down within the coming weeks. But even if they don’t, I know they will appreciate that first trip to the yogurt/ice cream/doughnut shop. And maybe enjoy it a little more?

The Only Exception

I went out for lunch today. It was awesome. Before you get upset (I passed the Starbucks-inside-Target test, didn’t I?), this was pre-decided. The invitation was received waay before I even thought about doing this crazy Lent thing. And it was to honor a sweet friend who’s getting married next week. Not an ordinary thing.

However, I decided to be as frugal as possible during this lunch. I looked at the menu online in advance and decided to order water and soup & salad. Filling and economical (& healthy).

I’ve been saving my random cash for this little adventure. My change back from purchases and money the kids give me when they want to buy things (because it’s easier to do it in one transaction). I didn’t want this to ‘hit’ the bank account. (Not sure why? I guess it just feels like it makes less of an impact?)

So we had a lovely time. Saw some friends I haven’t seen in a while. When lunch was coming to a close and our checks arrived, I had this strange feeling that I should leave everything I had in my wallet. Basically leave a rocking tip!

I have no idea why. Maybe our server needed the cash? Maybe it was a test in obedience. Who knows?

So I left the $19 I had in my wallet for an $8 lunch. Not a huge deal, certainly
not life changing for anyone. But it really affected me today. It really left me thinking “How can I use my money to help, to really help someone who doesn’t have a warm house, two cars in the driveway and a fridge full of food?”

I don’t know what it means for me. But I think John the Baptist was serious when he said “If you have two coats, and your brother needs one, give it away” (Luke 3:11)

Waiting for further instructions.

One Quick Take

Standing here letting the kids look through the dollar spot having an argument with myself.

Technically I’m in Target.

I mean it’s under the same roof.

It’s supposed to be a fast.

It smells sooooo good.

What would you do?